I started this morning with quite a lot of enthusiasm. I thought I was going to finish everything on my to do list. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Enter
I spent all day working on one task. I ended up neglecting my creative task – something that gives me life. I keep placing other people’s tasks before my joys and it is beginning to drain me.
But. I believe things will change. I started reading about Stoicism. It’s actually very similar to Ecclesiastes and much more in the Bible ( I’m thinking parts of Proverbs).
I’ve been asking myself why I care so much about other people’s opinion. I know the truth. I have a fear of being unloved. Most people want to feel like they belong. I am afraid I don’t, so I act fake all the time because I think other people want me to be that certain way. I can’t live that way anymore. I’m ready for a change.
It didn’t go so well today but as a start, I didn’t get angry at myself for being consumed by another task. It’s just life. I’m going to start my day by making something. I’m kind of excited.
I also hope my writing gets better. Ever since I got into design, I have found it difficult to express myself through words.