I had a realization today:
I have not achieved any of my goals, because I’ve made them someone else’s.
Here’s the sad truth, I’ve been wanting to move to China, because someone I know is there. It’s not the only reason why I want to move to China, but it has become the primary reason why I want to go. And when you have a reason like that, it’s the wrong reason to do anything.
I thought of everything I want to do and it came to light that I don’t do anything I truly want. I have always placed someone else first. Like that time I moved back to Hong Kong. I did it because I thought my ex was moving back to Asia.
It wasn’t because I wanted to be close to him or get back with him, but I just wanted to make sure my chances were just as good as his.
Who am I kidding, I wanted to keep some sort of connection to him. (Note: I got over it).
OK. Let me back track my thoughts a bit. I think I was missing human connection because I have been feeling so alone, but all I do is think about myself. I don’t want to anymore. I just want to do my part in the world and not be a selfish, greedy, shallow person. Of course there are temptations in the world, but I want more to do good than fill my own cup up.
Here, for the rest of the week, let me dedicate myself to who I truly want to be for NOBODY ELSE other than me.
Anyone else feeling the same?
I will report back on Saturday. Tell me your story.